Umm I'm too high to move.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
