Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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