just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
