How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
