Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
