You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize