Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
