Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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