The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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