Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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