WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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