i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ttyl tear gas
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
