You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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