2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
