To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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