can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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