I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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