Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
