dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
