My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
