Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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