sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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