Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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