Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
