I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
