I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
