your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
