She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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