you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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