I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
