Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
