when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
