You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
