I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
