He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There are leaves in my underwear?
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