5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
