So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
