I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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