I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
