I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
