love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
