haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
