i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
