So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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