you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My vagina just recognized that song.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
