Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I wish there were birth control emojis
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
