I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
