Got a toothbrush?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
