You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
