i already hear my dad disowning me
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
