Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
