I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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