I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
